一家山西人开了家餐馆，儿子当服务生，老妈管收钱，老爸做大厨。
某一天，店里来了个老外，点了套餐，吃到一半，把汤碗打了。
儿子跑过去一看，说：“碗打了！”
老外想：“one dollar……”（1美元）
老妈听见声音，也过来看，见地上有个破碗，问：“谁打的？”
老外想：“three dollar……”（3美元）
儿子说：“他打的。”
老外想：“ten dollar……”（10美元）
老妈说：“还得打一碗！”
老外想：“hundred and one ……”（101美元）
老爸正在厨房里切菜，听见外面的声音，赶忙跑出来看怎么回事。忙乱中，忘了把菜刀放下。
五大三粗的老爸，手持菜刀站在餐厅里，老外一看，心跳加速，血压急升，但更让他心碎加崩溃的是老爸的一番话。
老爸对正在加热炉上舀汤儿子说：“烫，少盛点儿！”
老外：“ten thousand……”（10000美元）
老外以惊人的速度从口袋中掏出钱包，把里面所有的钱倒在桌上，然后狂奔出门

From Shanxi opened a restaurant, his son when the services of Health, mother tube and collect the money, father chefs do.
One day, the store to a foreigner, at the set, eat half, and played汤碗.
Son ran to see the past, said: "The bowl played!"
Foreigners would like to: "one dollar ... ..." (1 U.S. dollars)
Mother heard the voice, but also come to see, see the floor there is a破碗, asked: "Who's playing?"
Foreigners would like to: "three dollar ... ..." (3 U.S. dollars)
Son said: "He fought."
Foreigners would like to: "ten dollar ... ..." (10 U.S. dollars)
Mother said: "The fight will have to bowl!"
Foreigners would like to: "hundred and one ... ..." (101 U.S. dollars)
切菜father is the kitchen, I heard voices outside, how quickly going out of view. Hectic, the forgot to put a kitchen knife.
五大三粗the father, holding a kitchen knife standing restaurant, a foreigner, the heart rate, blood pressure surge, but even more heartbreaking, he is the father plus the collapse of the words.
Father of the ladle furnace is his son Tom said: "The hot, low-sheng something!"
老外: "ten thousand ... ..." (10000 dollars)
Foreigners at an alarming rate of out of pocket the wallet to back it all the money on the table, and then running out

1 . 昨天新闻报道:有一个尼姑在公园散步时给人强奸了 . 今天新闻报道:今天有上百个尼姑在公园散步.

2.农夫要杀公鸡却逮不着，于是抓起母鸡对公鸡说：再不下来让你当光棍儿！
　　公鸡：你他妈以为我傻呀，我下去她就成寡妇了。。。
3.餐厅苍蝇对厕所苍蝇说：你整天追腥逐臭，我整天吃香喝辣，过来吧！厕所苍蝇：道不同不相为谋，吃在好有啥用，光屁屁美女你见过几个？？？

4.京九铁路通车，沿线农民路边观看，车上一女客换卫生巾后扔出窗外，迎面贴一农民脸上，农民拿下后说：我操！这车就是快，飘张纸都能把鼻子打出血来！！！

5.一女在厕所小便，一醉鬼酒后误入，听到哗哗尿声，忙说：别倒了，我真的不喝了！女吓坏了，不敢在尿，憋不住放了个屁，酒鬼说：我操，怎么又启了一瓶

6.清早起来，公鸡把母鸡揍了一顿别人为其拉开，问母鸡：公鸡为何打你？母鸡说我也不知道便问公鸡，公鸡说：操它亲娘的，它今天早晨起来下了个鸭蛋！！！

7.从警校毕业的张先生结婚两年,总感觉妻子有些异样,怀疑妻子有外遇。
　　　　一日，张先生总是发现妻子的手机上有一则陌生人的短信，而且每次短信的内容都是一样的
　　　　“赵兄托你帮我办点事。”！
　　　　晚上十点，张先生一举将出轨的妻子和那个正在苟合的男人擒拿。
　　　　张先生大骂：太小看我了，你以为那短信我不懂？倒过来读就是"十点半我帮你脱胸罩...

8.一对年轻夫妇家中很有钱，雇了女佣、司机、园丁等。 女主人怀疑丈夫和年轻美貌的女佣有染，于是总是想找机会把她炒掉。有一天先生不在，她把女佣叫过来，借口她菜烧得不好，叫她走…… “可是……”女佣说“先生总是说－－我烧的菜比你好。”女主人哑口无言，只好说没事，你下去吧！女佣走到门口时，回头冒了一句：“而且我的床上功夫也比你好！”女主人愤怒地拍桌子说道：“这也是先生说的吗？”“不是，”女佣回答：“是司机、园丁他们说的。”

9.猎人打猎，看树上有两只鸟，举枪打下一只，发现是只没毛的，正纳闷，另一只鸟飞下来大骂猎人：他*的，老子刚哄她把衣服脱光，你就把她打下来了。。。

10. 某饭店养只鹦鹉挂在门口，有客到就说："你好欢迎光临！"一常客想：我快点进看你有何反应.一天他"蹭"就跑进去了，鹦鹉说："他奶奶的！吓我一跳！！！"

11.产房里一小孩出生后哈哈大笑，接生护士都非常奇怪，围拢观察发现小孩拳头紧握，掰开后发现是一粒堕胎药，只听小孩说：他*的！想干掉我？没那么容易！！

12.生日派对上蛋糕只剩下一块，上面恰好写着生日两个字。男孩大方地拿起刀一分为二，温柔地对女孩说： “我负责‘日’，你负责‘生’，好吗？”

13.演出结束，领导上台拉住漂亮的蒙古族女演员的手嘘寒问暖不放手，还一个劲地问叫什么名字？女演员激动地说：玛勒格碧

14.处长与漂亮的处女跳舞，舞曲高潮时处长有点激动，下面挺了起来，处女察觉后好奇地问：你下面是什么？处长：我下面是科长。处女：官不大还挺硬。

15.有一对男女过桥，桥上有一只老虎怒目而视，女略思索后脱衣而过。男也学脱衣而过，却被老虎扑倒。男不解？老虎说：你以为你有根小棍儿就是武松了？

16.老师让学生用“皱纹”造句，一学生写：我爸爸的蛋上有很多皱纹，老师批评家长不该啥地方都让孩子看。家长解释说：这孩子从小粗心，少写一个“脸”字。

17.日本军人很色,所以叫黄军! 色就要做那事,所以叫日军. 后来战败不能做那事,只能叫自慰队! 自慰就是日自己,所以叫日本人!

 

18.站的更高，尿个更远；水至清则无鱼，人至贱则无敌！走自己的路让别人打车去吧。穿别人的鞋，让别人找去吧。

19.什么叫郁闷？就是三打一让人殴了，撮麻让人给搂了，钱包让人偷了，老婆跟人溜了，家里就剩粥了一闻还馊了，眼珠子一翻抽了，去医院救护车还掉沟了！

20.避孕套对卫生巾说：老妹，你可别上班，你一上班，我的七天没生意！卫生巾对避孕套：大哥，你知足吧，你TM要漏了，我就十个月没活儿了！

21.一只大象问骆驼：“你的咪咪怎么长在背上？”骆驼说：“死远点，我不和** 长在脸上的东西讲话！”蛇在旁边听了大象和骆驼的对话后一阵狂笑。大象扭头对蛇说：“笑屁！你个脸长在**上的，没资格！”

22.深夜，波音737飞行员回家，咚咚敲门。妻：谁？飞行员幽默地说：737请求着 陆！突然屋里一男子喊：收到，777马上起飞，给你腾出停机位!

23.月饼爱上馒头，拼命追求，馒头誓死不从。月饼难过：(港腔)这是为了什么？馒头：俺娘说啦，你肚子里都是花花肠子。

24.一天母鸡飞上了屋顶，主人气气愤的说“你下来，再不下来我把这里的公鸡全部宰了，叫你生不如死。”母鸡大笑说“终于可以去找鸭子了。”

25.老夫妇去拍照，摄影师问：“大爷，您是要侧光，逆光，还是全光？”，大爷腼腆的说：“我是无所谓，能不能给你大妈留条裤衩？”

26.女记者问农场主疯牛病的由来，场主说我一天要挤十次奶，但牛一年只能交配一回。记者不解；场主大声说：天天揉你乳房，一年作爱一次，你能不疯吗 ？

27.教师在农村扫盲，让一农妇认被子两字，农妇想不起来，教师提示：睡觉时你身上是什么，农妇说是老公。老师哭笑不得：老公不在的时候呢？农妇：是村长。

28.问：世界上最悲惨的男人是？答：是炮兵连的炊事员，他带绿帽，背黑锅，还只能看别人打炮。

1. Yesterday, news reports: a nun when people walk in the park raped. Reported this news: Today there are hundreds of nuns stroll in the park.

2. The farmer kill the rooster could not catch it, then start the hen to cock said: do not let you down when the bachelor!
Rooster: Do you think that I am his mother傻呀, I go into her a widow. . .
3. Restaurant fly flies on a toilet, said: Tilletia逐臭you all day to recover, I had a full day popular hot drink, over it! Toilet flies: do not for different plan, eat in good有啥用, light PP Have you seen a number of beautiful women? ? ?

4. The opening of the Beijing-Kowloon Railway, the farmers along the roadside to watch for the car and a woman passenger out the window after the sanitary napkin, a head affixed to the faces of farmers, the farmers had said: I speak! This car is fast, floating sheet of paper all the blood from the nose to fight! ! !

5. And a woman urinating in the toilet, into a drink-drunk to hear the sound of urine哗哗,忙说: Do not fall, I really do not drink a! Terrified woman, did not dare in the urine,憋不住put个屁, drunkard, said: I speak, and how a bottle of Kai

6. Early in the morning, the rooster to a hen beat the others for the opening and asked the hen: cock fighting are you? Hen asked that I do not know rooster, rooster said:亲娘speaking it, and it was this morning with a duck! ! !

7. From the police academy two years of marriage, Mr. Zhang graduated from a total of some strange sense of his wife, suspected his wife was having an affair.
Day, Mr. Zhang found the wife always has a cell phone text messages to strangers, and the contents of each message are the same
"赵兄asked you to do something to help me."!
22:00, Mr. Zhang's wife in one fell swoop would be derailed and that men are sexually grappling.
Mr. Zhang was castigating:太小看me, do you think I do not understand that message? Reading is the other way around "10:30 I help you off bra ...

8. A young couple's home a lot of money, hired a maid, driver, gardener and so on. Mistress suspected her husband and young and beautiful maid affair, so she is always looking for the opportunity to fire. President is not one day, she called the maid back, an excuse to burn her food well, told her to go ... ... "But ... ..." maid said, "always said, Mr. - I burn the food than you." F master speechless but said nothing, you go on it! Maid to the door, the back to take the sentence: "And also my bed than you!"拍桌子hostess said angrily: "This is also the President said it?" "No," The Maid replied: " drivers, gardeners they say. "

9. Hunter hunting, look at the trees there are two birds, raised a gun to take to lay a and found that not only hair, are wondering, the scolding he got from the other hunters鸟飞: He *, and I just coax her clothes off light, you put her down. . .

10. A restaurant raising parrots only hanging on the door, and when guests are coming to say: "Hello, Welcome!" A frequent visitor to think: I see you quickly into the response. The day he "rub" into the run, said the parrot : "His grandmother's! scared I jump!!!"

11. Production room after the birth of a child laugh, delivery nurses are very strange, observed that the children crowded fist grip, break apart and found that after an abortion drug, just listen to children, said: He * is! I would like to get rid of? Not so easy! !

12. Birthday party on a piece of cake left, above, just read the word birthday.拿起刀generous boys into two of the girls said softly: "I am responsible for 'day', you are responsible for 'Health', please?"

13. Performance, leadership pulling power of the Mongolian beautiful actress does not let go of the hand after their well-being, but also asked一个劲name? Actress excitedly said:格碧Mare

14. Director of the Virgin with the beautiful dance, Dance Director of the height a bit agitated, as the following up-ting, after the curiosity to detect virgin Q: What are you following? Director: I The following is a section chief. Virgin: officials do not quite hard.

15. There are a pair of men and women across the bridge, the bridge glare of a tiger, female, after thinking a little strip by. Male strip and had to learn, but the tiger down. M could not understand? Tiger said: Do you think you have a small root棍儿is the Wu?

16. Teachers so that students with "wrinkles" sentences, one student wrote: My dad has a lot of egg on wrinkles, teachers should not criticize the parents what their children see places. Parents explained that: this child from an early age careless and less to write a "face" is used.

17. Japanese soldiers are color, so called Huang! Color to do it, so the Japanese name. Later, the defeat can not do things that can only be called masturbation team! Masturbation is on its own, so ask the Japanese!



18. Points higher, a further urine; clear waters no fish, who is invincible to cheap! To go its own way to let others go play cars. Wearing someone else's shoes, let others go looking for.

19. What is depressing? Three people to play a beat, the group of people to embrace Ma, and wallet stolen people, people away with his wife, left home porridge also a rancid smell, and bring out the eye, go to the hospital ambulance Ditch the car is also out!

20. Condoms on the sanitary napkin, said: old sister, you can not work, you work seven days I did not business! Condoms, sanitary napkins for: Brother, are you content now, you have to drain the TM, I did not work on a ten months!

21. An elephant asked the camel: "how long your in the back of Mimi?" Camel said: "The death of far point, and I do not ** a long speech in the face of things!" Snake in the next listening to the elephant and camels after a狂笑dialogue. Elephant turned to the snake said: "Laughter fart! Your a ** on the long face, and not qualified!"

22. Late at night, a Boeing 737 pilot to go home, knock on the door咚咚. Wife: Who? Pilots humorously said: 737 requested landing! The house of a man suddenly shouted: received 777 immediately took off to you free parking spaces!

23. Moon fell in love with bread in their pursuit, not from the death of steamed bread. Moon sad: (Hong Kong cavity) This is for what? Steamed Bread:俺娘said you, you are花花肠子stomach.

24. One day it flew up into the roof of the hen, the main popular indignation, that "you down, do not I put down here all slaughtered rooster, and生不如死tell you." Laughing hen said, "finally able to find a duck . "

25. Elderly couple to take pictures, the photographer asked: "Grandpa, you want to侧光, backlighting, or all-optical?" Shy uncle said: "I do not care whether or not they can be left to you Mother pants?"

26. Female reporter asked about the origin of mad cow disease, farmers, farmers say that I am ten times a day to squeeze milk, but cow mating only once a year. Reporter could not understand; farm loudly said: every day, rub your breasts, make love once a year, you can not it crazy?

27. Teachers in rural literacy, so that a quilt to identify the word woman, woman can not remember the past, teachers Tip: When you go to bed was what the woman said to her husband. Dumbfounding teacher: her husband is not the time? Woman: Yes, the village chief.

28. Q: the world's most miserable man? A: Yes, even the artillery of the cook, he with the green hat, made a scapegoat, it can only look打炮others.